A Weetzie Kind Of Day

8:00am: Rise from bed with the lady human.  Watch her brush her teeth.  Sigh heavily.

8:15am: Listen to sister consume breakfast.  Gross!  Wait for lady human to carry me to my food dish.

8:20am: Pick at breakfast.  Sigh heavily.  Once again, NOT lobster.

8:25am-
11:00am: Pester lady human for lap.  Throw tantrum if not available.

11:01am-
6:00pm: Nap alone.  Somewhere regal.

6:01pm: Male human arrives home from work.  Ignore him, feign napping.

7:30pm: Watch sister eat dinner.  Gross!  Insist lady human carry me to food dish like princess.

7:32pm: Pick at dinner.  Sigh heavily.

7:40pm: Post-dinner brawl game with sister.  Run away when she fights back.

7:45pm: Pester male human for lap.  Sit staring at him with longing, unnerving, devoted expression if denied.

9:30pm: Join sister in basement window to stare at raccoons and/or neighborhood cat frenemies.

10:oopm: Wait for male human to get in bed and turn out lights.  Just as he begins to doze off, meow loudly at closet door for some inexplicable reason.  Get angry reaction.  Run gleefully out of room with tail held high.  Repeat as desired.

10:30pm: Pre-late night snack brawl game with sister.  Hiss and run when she swats me in the head.

11:30pm: Late night snack!!  Happy dance!!  Dental kibbles for everyone! (Sings “Kibble Time”, to the tune of “Hammer Time”.)

12:00am: One more round of howling at the closet door.  Good times!

1:00am: Lights out.  Crawl into bed with humans.  Unless there’s some raccoon action at the basement window.  If so, sit in window and wait patiently for something to threaten you on the other side of the glass, then let out blood-curdling howl at approximately 4am.